There's this road

-english post-

.. i'll have to take.

It leads through a lot of highs and lows and keeps me busy all the time.

So as it has been pretty quite on my blog, i'll give you an even better and bigger throwback by now.

Let's start with what just happened minutes ago:

92 Days left.

It's official now.

I booked my ticket.

For one Person, one way. 25th of August.

So recently i fought my way through a lot of papers to get my australian passort.

It wasn't a blast, i can tell you but i managed to make it through the application, get all the papers the goverment asked for and soon after that i made an appointment in Berlin

In Berlin i was about to get nerveracked.
"Being born in Australia doesnt automatically make you an australian" is what i've been told at the counter. I had a short mental breakdown of five seconds, asking myself "Where do i belong?" and was relieved when the men behind the glass window pulled out my old australian passport, saying "There you go. You're save." Due to the fact that i had an australian passport handed out by the time i was 14, there must have been some sort of check on my citizenship and he was able to get on with the renewal of this old one. I pulled out my bank card, asking where to pay as soon as he finished the sentence. Almost 300€ exchanged their owner and i was on my way back to Hamburg.

Three weeks later i held that baby in my hand!
Bright blue and beautiful with amazing artwork on every page that already give me tropical vibes by just browsing through. Now there was nothing in my way!



I decided to get myself tattoos i wanted for a long time. Two of them relate to my plans.

If you watched all of "becoming a full australian again" you will know why i just booked a single one way ticket. The plans to travel with Pina changed. She decided to stay in Germany which leaves me to go by myself. There are no recent worries about traveling alone it just makes the goodbye a lot harder. Being with someone close and go on an adventure together was a nice idea but know this whole journey will have some new sides to it and let me reflect a lot more.

I can feel myself changing.
At this point allready.
I see how time passes everyday and the flight is getting closer and closer.
92 Days is what i've just been told as i booked.
There are days i cry
because i don't know if i'll ever see my grandmother again or because of the beloved people i am leaving behind but the hardest part of it is leaving my family.. That breaks my heart.
Same counts for my friends, lovers and basically everything i knew for the past 29 years.
It leaves me so sad i want to curl up in a corner
but than i put on some rainforest sounds.
I go somewhere nice, sit down in the sun, tell my diary how i feel, let myself get driven by the situations i am in. I walk and talk like the absolute free individual i am. I don't have someone to come home to or someone to tell what i am planning. I am just there.
It feels incredible.
That makes me happy.
I feel the urge to travel and try new things.
Discover all the sides of myself i held back in the past few years.
I bought a skateboard three days ago - with 29
Because i wanted it for so long.


I am changing everything right now and i have the power to stand for myself,
my longings, my feelings, everything and i started saying "no"
It feels awesome and you should try it! (This ist not the point to do it)

I feel like my whole world is falling apart.
Some things and people feel like the solid pillars of my universe. Like they would never break away
but most of my world is shifting.
I don't know what is going to happen soon as i touch ground in Australia but i am looking forward to it.  I am looking forward to digg deep in the red sand and find my roots.
Australia, i am coming back for you!

Let me give you an Update!

People are coming up to me, saying "Hey, i heard you‘re leaving. What‘s that about?"
Well, let me give you and Update!

As i told you on the first day of this fabulous year i‘ll finally be taking off to Australia in August.
And as i told you as well, i won‘t be doing that on my own.
So the last time went to visit my dear friend and travel companion Pina, i took my camera with me to introduce her on my Youtubechannel.
I was quite anxious about her reaction but see it for yourself:



The good news just came crashing in.
After i worked so hard and so much that i thought it'd all collapse above me, my mother came up with a message that left my bawling my eyes out:



Now it was almost set.
the backpack i was longing for, finally arrived and i started packing it for the first time.
Fun fact by the way: This backpack is going to be the main storage on this journey.
I‘ll have one small piece of hand luggage with all my technical devises (very close by, so noone throws and crashes anything) and that's it.
That's one big challenge for me.



I feel great and adventurous when i put it on.
I went to Hannover to finish my last duty, my exam to become a therapist.
It was a 6 day exam and every day was important.
By the end of the week i knew it:



I graduated!That was the last thing i was working for in Germany.
The last anchor i'd had put in the ground, looking at my profession.
And when i came back to my mom‘s place the next step was laying on the table.



It was time to book a flight!
Well, at least we tried (german video)



The next things we need to do is to get Pina a Visa and me a new australian Passport and book our flights to Amsterdam and Australia.
Nothing lights us up more right now.
We both told our bosses, which went good and bad but it doesn't kill us, because the thought of travelling so far out and experience a whole new life; free, wild and adventurous clears away any dark thought. We are ready! <3 Let‘s go and get away!

No rush

-english post-

Today i made the first few steps towards the big plans i announced in my latest post and actually started packing already.

What's the rush for?

I already sized down when i moved out of my old flat in November 2015 but i had to realize that i still have an awful lot of stuff. I mean, as much as i could have on 6qm.



Two weeks ago i threw out all the clothes i wouldn't take with me for sure and i didn't wear for at least a year and ended up selling these to my friends for a nice price. A lot of the things were favorites but ended up in the cupboard anyways so why wouldn't i give them to someone that would wear them?

Anyways.
I grabbed a box today.
That one box i'll keep at my mothers place.
It'll contain all the things i can not take with me but wouldnt want to sell or throw away.
My most precious things.
But to find them i had to search through my room.

I put up a camera for this for you to enjoy.

In the end i realized how hard it was to say goodbye to a lot of things which made me really thoughtful about materialism and the "need to own stuff" or collect it and why i have so much things i wouldn't touch and still concider myself a free person..

In the end i am really happy i'm starting this now because it'll give me a lot of time to find new places for the things and make up my mind in absolute peace about "what i really need"

Tomorrow my first trekking backpack will arrive and i'll be able to practice my packing.

Remember, this is the last bag i am packing and taking with me. It'll need a lot of concideration.

I am ready!

Make a Wish

-english post-

As i told you before in my review on 2016 i'll have to tell you something in the next couple of days and because i am not a very patient person and it's new years - i'll tell you now:



I made a wish last year.
I wanted to leave all the pain behind and start a happy life.
I wanted to get to know myself even better and for that i'll have to dig deep.
And where would that be? Right at the roots.



My heart had been aching to go back to Australia eversince i landed there for the first time in 2002.
As i landed and drove along the tropical sights of Cairns i started crying and just knew:
"this is it!"
Nothing gave me a feeling like this eversince.
Australia is my homecountry and if i want to get to know myself better i'll have to go where it all started from. I'd have to go to Australia.

So as i finish my apprenticeship in February i'll be ready to go.
I won't be alone.
That's a beautiful thing.

Pina will come with me and explore this place <3

I am so thankful!

So, as i said in the video - Let's make the best out of the upcoming eight month and make memories together we will never forget, enjoy each others company
and make plans for a reunion in some other part of the world!

<3